So I haven’t logged into this account in well over a year, but a situation prompted me to check in on it today. Thank you to everyone who has filled the inbox with words of love, support, understanding, and encouragement. Some of you have asked for updates, but I have none to offer (or none that I can confirm). Up until today, I had completely removed myself from this situation and anything related to Cara. I have not been keeping tabs on her or attempting to track her down because I simply don’t care anymore. She isn’t worth the time, energy, frustration, or anger.
Thank you to everyone who has supported my journey of healing in the aftermath of what she did (and apparently continues to do). For those who asked, I am doing well. I hope the rest of you are, too.
I have received a few anonymous messages asking me for my contact info from people who wish to speak with me…uhhh, no. That’s not how this works. If you think you need to speak with me, you provide ME with YOUR contact details, and then I will decide whether or not to get in touch with you. I am not going to post any means of contacting me on this or any other blog. My safety, privacy, and peace of mind is far more important than your interest in this story. Please keep that in mind.
(It seems several people who were there with her have found this site and messaged me today…you all appear to have different IP addresses, so I am going to assume there really are multiple people sending in questions/comments).
I didn’t know she continued lying even while she was there, though it certainly doesn’t surprise me. I am sorry you experienced that while you were trying to get treatment for whatever you were dealing with at the time. I wish you all the best.
[If you need/want to talk further, you know you can reach me here. There are also people willing to listen on the WordPress blog you originally came from.]
Yes. Cara and I were friends for 4 years, prior to finding out she had been lying to and manipulating me throughout our entire friendship. We went to the same high school, which is where we met.
Many of the posts that were originally made on my private blog answering questions about Cara have been deleted—they were reblogged to a separate account first, so that people can still access them. But they are no longer on my blog because I no longer want this shit associated with that space.
If you are looking for the FAQ pages and other Q&A stuff, please go here: http://answersaboutcara.tumblr.com/
If any of you had recently been contacted by a girl claiming to be Mollie Cunningham, a pregnant British teenager going through a high risk pregnancy…that was Cara Goodman attempting to con people again. She just deleted her blog (baby-nugget.tumblr.com) after she was outed yesterday. She made the mistake of following my personal blog, and I recognized the photos she posted of her body and the way she answered questions immediately.
Please be aware that Cara Goodman likely has other blogs where she is continuing to lie and weave ridiculous stories. If you have doubts about someone you are interacting with, listen to those doubts. If you have a gut feeling telling you something isn’t right, just walk away from that person and don’t look back. Be safe. Take care of yourself. And be kind to each other.
I just added Cara on facebook? I looked through a lot of statuses and it seems like she’s either acting like none of this happened, or i just didn’t look far back enough… I thought she was going to a mental place??
Awesome… I was told she was admitted to a psychiatric unit for about 3 days back at the end of October. And then she was sent home (the facility she supposedly went to is only equipped to handle short term crisis situations).
It doesn’t surprise me at all that she is pretending like none of this happened. But it does horrify me that there are people who knew what happened, are still involved in her life, and are apparently playing along and just ignoring all of the evil things she did. There is simply no excuse for that.
(Also…there are still people who believe she had cancer and made some miraculous recovery. There are people who have no idea any of this happened, though it shocks me that they haven’t found out yet. There are people who have deluded themselves into thinking they can “save” her somehow. And then there are the people who are far too co-dependent and/or insecure to walk away from her.)
I do sincerely worry about the people still in her life, though, because I still don’t doubt for a second that she will do this again. She has not come clean with everyone, and I doubt she ever will.
Is the police investigation still ongoing? Are there any updates regarding the whole situation?
I believe so. I have mostly removed myself from that aspect of the situation. My health and personal well-being are far more important to be at this point. I do not have an update on the investigation, I just know that there is still interest in the case.
I went through this entire blog and noticed that Cara did not mention being genderqueer in the beginning stages. In her “read this before you ask” posts, she refers to herself as female. Do you think she started pretending to be genderqueer because she knew you were passionate about the subject?
She is once again referring to herself as female, from what I have been told. And I do think the whole genderqueer thing was complete bullshit. The “story” she told about growing up in a “Slavic” culture and being forced to “conform to gender roles” according to “Croatian custom” was total and complete bullshit. I know there are still people on Tumblr who apparently think I am “cis scum” for referring to her using female pronouns. But those people can fuck off, quite frankly. And now I will address the gender bullshit once and for all…
Cara lied about absolutely everything else about herself—including basic details like where she was born, how many siblings she had/didn’t have, where she grew up, etc. And course there are all of the larger and more despicable lies like cancer, HIV/AIDS, abortion/miscarriage/adoption/single parenthood, rape and abuse, sex trafficking, eating disorders, andddd all of the other lies she told to individual people. There is simply no logical reason to believe that anything she said about herself was real—including her “gender identity.”
Her claims about “never being allowed to wear jeans” was complete bullshit. I have plenty of distinct memories of her wearing jeans. When I called her on that right after she made her big “gender” post (you can re-read it here), she insisted I was mistaken, my memory was confused, etc. There are pictures of her wearing jeans for photo shoots with friends. When I asked her about those, she said “oh well my Dad didn’t know about those!”
She wrote a lovely, flowery story about “coming out” and what it was like growing up as a “woman in Slavic culture.” Except she isn’t Slavic. Not even close. She was born in Texas and both of her parents were born in the Southern US. She was not forced to wear skirts or dresses or expected to be “declared Woman when she turned sixteen.” That is all a complete lie.
She also claimed her “eating disorder spiraled out of control” because she was “trying to starve Woman out of her” before she was sent away to treatment in 2008/09. That was also a lie. As has been discussed here before, she was sent to treatment for her compulsive lying and other mental illnesses, not for anorexia. I believe all of her claims of an eating disorder were entirely false. Contrary to her claims, she was never dangerously underweight (or even close to underweight, for that matter). And she was not sent to an eating disorder treatment facility—she was sent to a facility for troubled teen girls. And back in 2008, she told me and several other people that she was going into treatment for self harm and depression. But as usual, she had a different version of the story for almost every person she told.
Cara is a skilled liar. We all know that. She convinced hundreds of people both via the internet and in real life that she was dying. She wrote eloquent poetry about rape, abuse, and molestation that NEVER happened to her. She wrote stories about being in eating disorder treatment centers that she stole word for word from other people. She used photos of children she nanny’s for to convince countless people that she was a single mother raising a child (or multiple children) by herself. She doctored an ultrasound photo to convince other people she had a miscarriage and/or abortion. She used photos of herself from the age of 12 and 13 and claimed they were photos of herself “at an anorexic weight” at the age of 16 and 17. And she took the experiences of real genderqueer people and manipulated them for her own purposes—just as she did the with the experiences of real cancer patients, real HIV/AIDS patients, real women with real eating disorders, real single mothers, real rape survivors, real child abuse survivors, and real women who experienced real miscarriages and/or abortions.
As for exactly WHY she chose to lie about being genderqueer… I don’t necessarily think it was had anything to do with me. Being genderqueer is a popular thing to discuss on Tumblr. And given the enormous amount of time Cara spent on Tumblr and the internet, she would have encountered plenty of discussions about being genderqueer. And just as she latched onto the “identity” of having “cancer,” she latched onto this identity too.
Hey there. I discovered this story through a forum and though I’m sure you’ve heard a ton of this by now, I wanted to offer my sympathy for your situation. A very good friend of mine a few years ago faked being in wrecks and may have even lied about being raped in order to get my attention. It was nowhere near on the level of what you’ve been through, but I wanted to say I hurt for you and I’m truly sorry.
Thank you, anon. I am sorry for what you went through with your friend, too. I appreciate your sympathy and support. (Also, out of curiosity…what was the forum?)
And that’s all…
umm. what? O_o
this blog was formerly operated by Cara, who lied about everything she posted here…there is nothing beautiful about any of that. please read any of the recent posts for more info…
The rest of your ask got cut off (there was no part 3). Could you send it again? Thank you for reaching out to me.
I am so sorry you went through this as well. I am glad that you still have hope for her, but I am even more glad that you are deciding to step back and take care of yourself. You shouldn’t have to go through any more pain or suffering here. You gave 3.5 years—it is time for you to focus on you.
Sending love your way. Please feel free to contact me if you want to talk. And try resending the part3 of your message. <3
First of all, I don’t understand why you are following this blog now, unless you don’t realize what has happened or you are just interested in more updates (I have none to share at this time).
Second of all, please be aware that basically everything CARA posted about herself on this blog is a complete and utter lie. For details of her lies/what has transpired in the past few months, please see all of these posts…
And there are of course more assorted posts on this issue that you can find on this blog as well as others…
tl;dr…..Cara is a liar. She does not have and never did have cancer, HIV/AIDS, anorexia, a child (or alternatively, a history of pregnancy/miscarriage/abortion/giving a child up for adoption/etc.), a graphic history of rape/abuse, or any form of terminal illness. She is not deaf. She is not Croatian. She is not a survivor of sex trafficking. She is not dying. And it is safe to assume that anything she has ever told you is a total lie. The end.
Answering a few more questions/submissions…
I work at a program that occasionally has young women with problems similar to Cara’s. It is understood that a successful treatment plan is a long-term collaborative effort between a patient, their family, and a qualified therapist; without any kind of monitoring, the patients typically lose any sense of accountability for their words and actions and people get hurt. Unfortunately, lots of people like Cara’s mom check their kids in, make excuses, then don’t follow through until it is too late.
Thanks for your input, Anon. Certainly something to think about.
Honestly, I feel really bad for Cara. I know that she hurt a lot of people, but imagine the pain she must be going through to make her WANT to fabricate a lie like that. Yes, she needs help. And I think that she should have to pay back all of the money and gifts that she received. And I think that she needs to help someone. REALLY help someone. But I do not believe she should go to jail. That would solve nothing. She needs to be in a mental institution, get on some good meds, and come out.
Most of us want Cara to be sent to treatment rather than jail. Though she certainly deserves jail time. As for “getting on good meds and coming out…” I don’t really see that happening. Cara has done this over and over and over… I believe she would have to make a sincere commitment to changing and to treatment for anything to actually happen with that. And she would have to work very hard to get through this. But quite frankly, I don’t see that happening. I don’t know if she is capable of changing at this point. There are a lot of reasons for this belief, but I am not going to get into all of that.
Hey, I just thought you should know; Although I didn’t really want to get involved in this whole thing, I knew “Cara” YEARS ago as a child. I went to church with her and when I knew her, she went by Alex. While going to church with her, she had always been that girl who wanted all the attention, who did anything so that the eyes were on her. I could have told you from the start to not believe a word she says..
To be honest, I wish someone had told me from the beginning or really at any point in the 4 years I wasted on her. I have gotten several messages like this from people who knew Cara before I did, and even people who went to high school with both of us. And I just wish someone had spoken up. That is one of the reasons I continue to answer questions, make posts, and why right after all of this came out I contacted people who knew Cara/her family. People deserve to know the truth. Cara has victimized so many people and if she isn’t stopped will continue to hurt others. If I can warn someone before Cara can get to them, I absolutely will. No one deserves to be lied to, manipulated, used, and abused the way Cara has done to me and so many others.
Has this story had any news coverage?
Not yet (there are a few different reasons for that). But there has been considerable interest from some media outlets (they have reached out to me/other victims).
has cara explained to anyone why she did this?
She has offered some explanations to some people (but not to me personally). Of course, most of what she has offered as “explanation” is really just more manipulation, from what I have heard. I don’t know if Cara even knows why she did all of this.
Where is Cara now?
Last I heard, walking around relaxed and free, no longer feigning illness (I hope), and basically acting like nothing really happened (in my opinion).
I skimmed through the blog and I really needed to know, why did she lie? What was her agenda?
As I have said before…I do not know. I know she gained an enormous amount of love, attention, and affection from people both in real life and through various online venues (including Tumblr, Facebook, Reddit, Caring Bridge, image and video hosting sites, message boards, etc.). She also used her lies to gain gifts/presents and other financial benefits from a variety of people. She had people giving enormous parts of themselves to her over and over and over again, but that apparently wasn’t ever enough. So she kept draining people dry physically and emotionally (and in a few cases financially). I don’t know WHY she did it—I know she is clearly mentally ill and a predator. But mental illness is no excuse for what she has done…She has told so many incredible lies over the past 6+ years. She needs serious help and people need to be protected from her because I don’t think she is capable of stopping herself. I don’t think the “why” even matters anymore.
Hey, this seems weird, so I don’t know how to phrase it. I came across your story through a forum, and have been through something similar myself in the past year. 10 months of consuming someone’s lies because I wanted to think the better of her. I’m a tad isolated now after the incident and was wondering if you’d like to exchange IM or Skype information and chat sometime?
I am so sorry you went through something like this, too. No one deserves this kind of suffering. And I do hope that you have someone that knows what happened and can offer some support and comfort to you. But I can’t really be that person for you right now, as much as I would like to. I am still dealing with my own situation and working to support and love other people close to me who were directly affected in this case. And as much as I would love to be able to help and support everyone who needs it, I am only one person. If you truly have no one else to turn to, I can try to connect you to other people with more time, energy, and spoons than I have right now. You can send your preferred contact info (e-mail, Skype, whatever) to this account or the account you originally contacted me on. Again, I am so sorry you went through something like this too. <3
thank you :).
I don’t know if I actually deserve any of those kind words, but I do appreciate them. I am still really struggling with my anger over this whole situation, and I hate that. I don’t like being this angry. I don’t like feeling like I legitimately hate someone (when it comes to real people I know, that feeling is incredibly rare and very disconcerting). I get angry over situations (especially involving injustices) quite often, but that kind of anger is categorically different. That is motivating and mobilizing anger… But this deep hurt and anger I feel directed at a specific person is simply paralyzing and makes me want to crawl out of my skin.
That said, I am really lucky to have amazing and supportive friends around me—and an outpouring of love and encouragement from people in the Tumblr community like you. <3 So thank you.
To ME? No. Not since a generic mass text she sent out at the beginning of November to me and a large number of other people (admitting what she had done but not exactly apologizing). She has repeatedly contacted a lot of other people, though—and from what some of those people have told me, everything she has said to them is complete BS. Per usual.
Yes, of course (though not me personally). And let me just reiterate this post: If Cara tried to contact you recently…
Given new information that was sent to me…It appears so, yes. I was recently informed that Cara frequented a message board for her favorite band when she was 13 and convinced everyone on the site that she had gone completely deaf at the age of 5 (which directly contradicts several versions of the stories she told people more recently via Tumblr…not to mention the fact that people who know her in person know she is absolutely NOT completely deaf). She also told people several different complicated stories about her “deafness” and other fake medical conditions via the message board. When she met one of the people from the board (who was from the same area and had mutual friends in real life with Cara) in person at a concert, her stories started to fall apart and she disappeared from the board. But the internet is forever—her posts are still available, even 5+ years later.
The same person who found Cara out back when she was 13 stumbled across her most recent web of lies due to the band posting requests for prayers/encouragement/etc. on Cara’s behalf a few months ago. This person had strong doubts about Cara’s recent claims but, like so many others, felt they could not openly express that doubt (who WANTS to believe that someone could be capable of something like this?!). As this person said to me: “Her story was too far-fetched to believe and too detailed to not believe.”
Now that the truth is out, this person reached out to me to share their own experiences. To say the least, I continue to be flabbergasted by the stories/details people are sending me.
Cara does know sign language. But it appears all of her varying stories about deafness/hearing loss are lies. There may be some kernel of truth somewhere in this mess, but truly, what difference would that make? When you have constructed such catastrophic lies, the kernel of truth (if there is any) becomes completely worthless and irrelevant.